Keeping warm....

See pics for the beast keeping warm in these cold winter months. For an update re Christmas, we now have no presents under the tree for fear of attack. He has even started trying to open new packages that arrive at the front door! Greedy beast. He actually looks quite regal in that top picture, don't you think?!

And there's more....

Yet more evidence of the destructive pug. First Jelly Babies, now Smarties. Nothing is sacred in his presence.

Naughty Pug.....

The beast is doing his utmost to ruin Christmas and steel from his keepers. I now feel the need for 24 hour vigilance after his recent displays, but a lack of resources leaves me resigned to the fact that he will continue to go under the wire and commit various crimes.

Today I found the ravaged remains of a packet of chewing gum on my bed (see evidence attached). One single piece had been chewed and left for me to discover on the floor and the packet was attacked but not consumed. Maybe this was a message.....maybe he has no message and just likes destruction. My mind is going around in circles attempting to figure out if he is smarter than me and playing games, or simply a crazed beast. At the moment I am siding with the latter.

However, something then happened to make to reconsider. There are now a number of presents under the tree and surprise surprise Bob made his presence felt and left his calling card of destruction. Thankfully he was caught in the act, and this evidence will be entered into his portfolio of menace. He was seen tearing the wrapping off one of the presents, attempting to steal the booty. His item of choice, as it turned out, was a packet of Jelly Babies. Nothing is safe with the beast around. Even the innocence of Christmas is being destroyed.

Was he just hungry, or is he attempting to demoralise us? You decide......

What a strange creature....

Apparently Bob's online presence is building a small fan base, so I feel I must up my game to cater for the beasts new found groupies. Here is a short update on his movements, and trust me when I say he seems to be getting stranger and more cunning by the day!

If he's not been in his donut (as seen above), then he has been causing mayhem....simple as. He looks so cute when he just sitting there, like butter wouldn't melt. However, I know the truth and soon you will too.

Yesterday, Mum was taking care of some housework and hoovering the landing when I heard some scrabbling around and barking. Mum started to come into my room and I realised that Bob was angry with the hoover. As Mum thrust backwards and forwards with the hoover, Bob would scurry away and then chase forwards as if in sync. Back and forth....back and forth. He was too scared to face this strange machine head on, but could not help yelping and scrabbling to show his annoyance. That was very funny, and once again showed Bob's willingness to be brave, but also his complete lack of balls (no pun intended.....no really) when push comes to shove.

His antics today showed a much more sinister, thinking man's pug. After returning from the walk, Mum hung her jacket on the door handle to go and make a cuppa. The beast was obviously ravenous and the smell of biscuits in the pocket was too much to handle. He promptly dragged the jacket off the door handle into the hall and proceeded to pick-pocket Mum's jacket! The cheek! I could see him trampling all over it, looking for a way in and snuffling around the pockets. Although it took him a while he did manage to get to the treats! He is becoming bolshy I feel, and requires more intense minding (or spying as I like to call it).

We then decided to bring in the Christmas tree and the beast was fascinated by the white netting the tree was wrapped in. When it had been removed, he was biting it and running around in circles until he was a bit trapped. We freed him, but he simply went back for more. He managed to drag the netting down from the top of the sofa cushion to have another go, by standing on his hind legs! We again had to remove it before he did himself some more damage. He is both mischievous and sneaky these days as you can see. He did not express any remorse, and I feel that if given the chance, he would re-offend. Sterner punishments are needed to stop all out anarchy!

I think he has it in mind to one day rule this house. Much like the Baghdad militias, he is trying to undermine the occupiers, with a view to one day creating his own Puggy Sovereign State. He must be stopped but this beast is both unpredictable and cunning....a very tricky combination!

Oooooh fire....

Here he is caught in the act. A new obsession is born! He is now doing his perimeter run and barking like a crazed little monster. A strange beast indeed!

Hello puggy.....

It has been a quiet time for the beast lately. He saw his master on Thursday and as expected there was some frantic ear lobe nibbling witnessed. As I sit here now, he is looking at me...boggle eyed and suspicious, so I must not give anything away in case I anger him. I fear for my lobes.

He has enjoyed some more walks and continued to play with the washing machine ball as seen in the pics. He has also been chilling with me while I work (again see pic). He is emersing himself in technology and no doubt trying to learn about how we function....you could call it searching for weaknesses! Much of the day yesterday was spent in front of the heater. He seems to like keeping warm and establish himself a 'temporary nest' as even when ther warm air stopped, he still favoured lying there. I have also seen him sitting leaning on the radiator by the front door; the winter must be getting to him. He is obvioualy a fair weather pug! Bob is also developing a fascination with fire. He gazes into the fire for an age at a time. I am still not sure if this is an attempt to keep warm, or if he sees great destructive potential of this element. Note *He may use this against us one day*.

He has been given some ham rind which went down well, and has also been carrying around his chew all day. He cannot take it when Ollie has a chew and he doesn't. You can tell as he leaps up and tries to thief it. Bad puggy!

More adventures with Bob

It's been a few days since my last post, so I am here to fill you in on what's been going on in the life of the Bobmeister. He has been on good form and has found many ways of entertaining himself.....and yes sometimes it did involve horse poo.

He has been on walks everyday down to Munday Dean where, on Tuesday, he was off the lead and came across 3 large dogs with their owner. Although he likes to (or attempts to) walk tall with a certain ammount of bravado, he ran back to Mum quick smart and wouldn't leave her side until the big nasty beasts had gone. He is a bit of a wimp really. He riminds me of one of those kids in the playground who thinks he's the coolest kid on the block, until he is confronted, at which time there is an about turn and a swift departure back home to Mumsy! He did eat some horse poo as well. Maybe this is akin to Popeye eating spinach....although he does look quite muscular, it has done nothing for his courage!

He has found many 'toys' to play with over the last few days. On Monday it was a bedsheet which had been removed for washing. He was biting and growling at it...which was made worse when Mum attepmted to walk it downstairs. 'It's alive' was Bob's reaction, so the growling and trampling intensified, until the offending article was picked up and taken downstairs. On Tuesday it was a washing machine ball. This was hours of entertainment for Bob and he was seen chasing it around the lounge as it rolled around. He had that crazy look in his eye and you could tell that he wanted to punish that innocent little plastic ball. "How dare you roll in my presence!!"

Today he sat in his donut savaging a chew. He doesn't ever seem to finish them....but enjoys them regardless. Any attempt to remove the chew was met with a sly look from the corner of his eye and a very throaty growl. I didn't want to infuriate him further and feared he would go for my jugular if I persisted, so I walked away.

He misses his master and he must be in need of some serious ear lobe action. Maybe he will get his fix at the weekend. He seems such a simple creature, but as soon as you look in his eyes, you know that there is more underneath.....a darker side perhaps. I'm onto you beast!

The world must know....

Today, the beast has been somewhat quiet. This is a little worrying to be fair, as one is under the impression that he is plotting. He has not ventured upsatirs today and instead confined himself to his bed and turned his back on the world. Therefore my contact with him has been a bit limited but I have leaned on my network of scouts for further info.

He took part on a walk earlier and was generally well behaved, except for two occassions when he decided to feast on some fresh horse droppings. Although not everyones cup of tea, this seems a firm favourite for the beast. As if this was not enough haute cuisine for Bob, he was treated to some extra treats at lunch time. Following my bacon sandwich, I shared some tasty pieces of bacon fat between Bob and Ollie. This was much appreciated as could be seen in the profuse licking of the lips and expectant look in his eyes for "more bacon homie".

Although it is early in the evening, he has already been seen running around with Dad's galsses in his mouth. Note *must make Bob wear galsses one day for comedy effect*. He has also been barking at the TV. It was not wildlife this time but a man wearing pants playing guitar. Bob obviously felt threatened by this man's prowess on the TV and decided he must chirp up with his vicious bark (more of a throat clearning to be honest, it really must be heard to be believed).

The rest of the night will most likely be spent on Mum's lap in front of the box. I'm sure he will do a couple of circuits of the kitchen looking for scraps before he settles down for the night in his donut.

Join me next time when I will report more of the beasts movements. I really must figure this strange creature out, as much of my time is spent wondering what's going on in his bulbous little head.